July 11th, 2010 | Posted in Complaints, Random | 21 Comments »

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re talking to someone and you really, really don’t want to be? Yeah, for some reason this happens to me a lot.

So, my mom gets me to come to church a lot with her. It’s usually not that bad, just kind of boring because my pastor never stops talking. Anyway, we sit down in apparently the worst seat in the place and the lady behind us begins to speak.

Now, we sort of know this lady, Eric and I, but not really. She seemed nice from afar and I wanted to keep it that way. However, this was not the case. She starts making small talk and at first it’s all right. I just blindly agreed, laughed, and nodded my head. Well, before long this lady is informing us of the fact that she can’t sing today because of her chronic post-nasal drip – and for whatever reason, it never goes away. She says to us, “Sometimes I just want to go to the pond and tell the frogs to go somewhere else today”. If you don’t know, post-nasal drip is basically when you have mucus that is dripping in the back of your throat – it kind of lingers there. You have a nasty raspy sounding voice from it and you have to clear your throat a lot. It’s not pretty.

My expression must have been hilarious, it really must have. Something along the lines of “WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!?!?!”. I mean really, go away lady. I’m PMSnig like a mother today and I do NOT want to hear about your post-nasal drip. I especially don’t want to hear you sing and I really, really don’t care if your voice is impaired today.

Trust me when I tell you, she sang her little heart out. Post-nasal drip or not she sang. It was the most horrid and terrible sound I had ever heard and I prayed silently that I’d never have to hear it again.

Anyway, we move on to singing from the hymnals and I’m still sitting while everyone else is standing up. Eric and I were paging through the hymnal trying to find number 574, a repetitive, awful sounding song. The lady puts her hands on my back and tries to pull me up going “Rise and shine!!”. First of all, if I want to sit down I will damn well do it. Second of all, I’M TRYING TO FIND THE DAMN SONG”. I almost back handed this lady, seriously.

So anyway, that was my lovely Sunday morning. How was yours?